“Don’t lie to yourself.”
That’s one important thing I heard this summer from my dad. When he said it, we were talking about
changing colleges and the reason I’m changing colleges. My parents don’t care why I change; they just
want the best for me, as long as I don’t lie to myself. So here we go:
Yeah I’m changing colleges to be closer to you. That’s the main reason why. I need to stop making excuses. While the new college is great and is around
a phenomenal environment, that’s not the main reason I’m moving. I’m moving because of you. I’m sick of being far away from you. That’s why I’m changing college. Another thing I’m sick of is people telling
me not to change colleges because of her.
“Don’t do it.” “It’s not a good idea.” “What if it doesn’t work?” I’ll tell you if it doesn’t work - since as a
society we always like to think about the worst the can happen – here it
is I’ll give it to you:
The absolutely worst thing that can happen is we breaking
up. There I said it. It is out.
Okay we break up, and I will be sad for a while. Maybe a little sad, but most likely very sad
for a long time. Okay… so what? I mean, I’m not trying to make our
relationship seem less than what it is, because it is much more than what words
can describe. I truly love you and love
our relationship. But lets say we break
up. Okay? We are done and we are very sad. My world isn’t done. What do people think? That I won’t want to study at that particular
school anymore because we aren’t together?
Because that’s not true at all.
Like I said, I will be sad. But
life eventually goes on. I will get over
it and will keep studying there for as long as I have to. Just because I am going there for you,
doesn’t mean I have to leave because of you if we break up. That’s it.
That’s the worst that can happen if things don’t work out.
Now of course, people don’t like to think about this, but
what if it DOES work? Obviously people
don’t like love stories and happy ending, because if they did, we wouldn’t have
movies like we have today or the news.
Anyways, if this works, wouldn’t it be the best decision I ever made in
my life? I mean I would have you, a good
education, and a good start to my life.
Isn’t that much more simple than thinking it won’t work out? I like to think so. I also like to think it will work out. Because like most things in my life, I will
believe it and I will live it. Not
trying to be cheesy here, but if I put it in my mind, then why wouldn’t it
work?
Everyone is different and I respect that. So respect my decision. Just because it didn’t work for many people,
doesn’t mean it won’t work for me – for us.
I’m just living my life here man.
I’m trying to make the best decisions for myself. No, I’m not trying to go against everyone
else, like most teenagers, and do the complete opposite of what people tell
me. I thought about it all. I didn’t make any decisions in three
seconds. I think. I thought about it. And this time, it just happened to be the
complete opposite of what people told me.
That doesn’t mean it is a bad idea.
It doesn’t mean it is a good idea.
It just means I’m taking this path.
It means I want to learn by myself.
It means I’m not lying to myself anymore. I’m doing this for you. I’m not ashamed of saying it. It is for you. It is for us.
And if it doesn’t work out, well at least I tried. But if it depends on me, it will work out. Because I love you.
I truly do. If I
didn’t my heart wouldn’t jump up every time I see you, and even after over a
year, I wouldn’t smile every time we text or video chat. Yeah I love you. I love us.
That’s that. I’m not lying to myself anymore. I’m not lying to anyone
anymore. And if anyone has a problem
with this, well, you can speak up. Tell
me what the problem is, but me? I’m just
living my life. I will listen to
you. I will take your thoughts into
consideration, but at the end of the day, I’m doing what is best for me. Whatever that means. It’s myself first. It’s my life first.
